kiwifruit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You are really good food, and I am full Last night I was at the restaurant surrounded by holiday revelers. Everyone was in their cute outfits�winter whites, sky hight stilettos, gauzy chiffon blouses and Seven jeans�the whole room smelled of Michael Kors perfume. Every table was full of trendy santa clauses bearing beautifully wrapped gifts. And meanwhile, in SOHO C. and his pals (my former pals) were attending an annual holiday party that I was, of course, not invited to this year. And as I trudged around in my black dress and comfy yet stylish boots, my hair blown out smooth and silky, my makeup just so, I have never felt uglier, or more lonely, or more sad. Wait a minute�.that�s not true, I�m sure I have felt just as ugly, and just as alone�but just not in recent memory. So I tried not to think�but wasn�t so succesful. I got off work early and considered my standing invitiation over to boss-man�s apartment. A girl could get used to Pratesi sheets, a fresh pair of men�s Dries Van Noten pj�s, a fireplace in the bedroom, being served a fresh salad of avacado, tuna and endive with amazing red wine, endless movie choices on the tv, viewing plans for his new 3,000 square foot loft, and fresh squeezed orange juice and cappuccino served bedside in the morning. And no sex. Yessiree it�s true, there is offically no sex in the city�at least not for this gal. But here�s the thing�crashing at random bachelor pads around the city (with, I repeat, no sex), is one thing. But this boss-man thing is scary on so many different levels I can�t even begin to explain. You see it�s very easy to date men that you know you can manipulate and men that you are smarter than. But dating a man that�s older and as smart and well traveled and succesful�well that�s just too scary. And he treats me like a princess. And he thinks I�m amazing. And he always calls when he says he�s going to and he always keeps his promises. So of course, given my current situation, I avoid him like the plague. And of course, there�s no guarantee that after the wooing process is over he won�t revert to being just another guy who stops thinking I�m amazing and who stops treating me like a princess and who stops appreciating how smart or funny or pretty I am. Another guy who doesn�t keep his promises and forgets to call and blah, blah, blah�In fact, given my experience in this matter, the chances of this happening are very, very good�almost guaranteed. So who can blame me if last night I chose to high tail it to the Upper West Side to drink a glass of very bad wine and eat half a bag of Pirate Booty. In this state of mind�that was far more appealing than the other option. La di da. La di da. 3:25 p.m. - 2002-12-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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