kiwifruit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Sickness Day five of my sickness and here is what my hazy brain is thinking� First, I�ve been obsessively worrying about everything you can possibly imagine from the fact that I haven�t gotten my black stilettos resoled to the state of my sorry career (if you can even call it such). It�s not only that I�m sick and rather woozy, it�s also that I have my period and I haven�t eaten anything but fruit for four days now. So, I�m a little cranky, I�m a little irrational. I�m a little crazy. This morning I called C. at his office convinced that there was something �going on� (i.e. he had decided a) leave me or b) quit his job and move to Arizona). He laughed and said the only thing going on was that we were going to dinner tonight�I don�t know where I get these things. I�m sick. I�m bleeding. I never want to see another apple as long as I live. At night I�ve been mixing a deadly cocktail of Thera-Flu, Zicam up my nose and three Tylenol PM. You can imagine the dreams I�ve been having. Or rather should I say the hallucinations? No lectures on drug abuse please. There is no sort of recreational joy that I�m getting out of this. Today I�m trying to convince myself that I�m better but I still feel pretty crappy. Yesterday in yoga (yes, I�m still running and going to yoga�no weight lifting though I�m too weak) the instructor assisted me in doing the full wheel and then performing upside down push ups. �How does that feel?� he asked, I explained that it would probably feel a whole lot better if I could breathe (although this is debatable). So, back to my hazy brain vomit� I�ve decided that I�ve become a fecking bore. What�s happening in this world when three of the four members of the Sex And The City cast are expecting babies (although Kim Cattrall is adopting not going through the real deal). Sarah Jessica is sporting Marni maternity wear (clothes that us normal size gals wear when we�re not expecting). And then, lo and behold, Candace Bushnell herself has tied the knot and is on the cover of last week�s Sunday Style section leaping into the arms of her ballet-dancing hubby. I mean really. What�s the deal here? I suppose it happens to the best of us. Not that I think marriage or motherhood automatically makes a woman a bore. What with Vogue citing babies as the hippest accessory of the season and all those model mommies balancing babies on their bony hipbones. No, this is not baby lust I�m citing here. I am just starting to really feel my age and starting to worry about all sorts of things that I never really considered before like my dying eggs, crows feet, sun damage and my lack of a savings account. Twas a time when I lived for the here and now without a second thought. No more. Now I worry about hangovers and health insurance and 401K plans. What a drag. But like I said, I�m sick and feeling a bit stuck and I�m bleeding and stuffed up and dehydrated. Must drink some more water and attempt to sleep. Must eat another piece of fecking fruit and squirt some more Zicam up my schnozz. La di da. La di da. 3:05 p.m. - 2002-07-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||