kiwifruit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fire Island, Take II Fire Island. Round two. C. and I spent an extended weekend in Ocean Beach with his sister, her fianc�, two other couples and a baby. The baby was enough to make you want procreating immediately. Tia Marie. The sweetest, softest, smiley-est little person you can imagine. C. and I fell in love and spent much time baby talking Tia and each other. It was heavenly and I had no gut-wrenching moments where I thought back to F.I. adventures with Patrick. Honest. This summer is tripping by and I am horrified at how little I�ve accomplished. As I write this the panic begins to rise�I have to squelch the desire to can even this little d-land entry and go do something useful like scrub out the refrigerator. I can�t believe I haven�t written one lousy chapter of my book since being �let go�. I can�t believe I�m not trying to get more freelance gigs. I am crippled by my fear of failure. I am crippled by my desire to have things handed to me on a silver platter. I am crippled by my complete inability to fathom what I want to be when I grow up. Or maybe I know what it is that I want to be, but I have no clue, or no drive to get there. Ugh. You see? Now I�ve freaked myself out so much I can�t write anymore. This has pretty much been the story of my summer�if anyone has any advice on how to kick one's own ass please let me know! 2:09 p.m. - 2002-07-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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