kiwifruit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lady of Leisure Sitting at my desk looking out at gray and rain listening to Bob Dylan sing �Tangled Up In Blue�. Sounds pretty depressing huh? But not really. You see as a freshly minted �lady of leisure� nothing really bothers me anymore. Well. Okay, not nothing. I wonder what I will do when my money runs out. I wonder if I�ll ever find a job that actually matches my skill set. I worry that I�ll gain fifty pounds now that I don�t have an �eating schedule�. I worry I�ll maim myself from going to the gym twice a day. I worry that C. will get angry when I have to lean on him for financial support. I worry that I�ll always be in debt. I worry that I won�t be able to afford to continue to highlight my hair and I�ll suffer from massive root grow-out which, unless you�re Madonna or Shakira really isn�t that cool. I wonder if I�ll ever actually finish the book I�m supposed to be writing-or lets face it, I wonder if I�ll ever actually start the stupid thing. So�I wouldn�t say �nothing� bothers me per se�but it sure as hell aint the fecking weather. I really don�t want to go into the sordid details. It�s a bit demoralizing really. But in a nutshell here�s what happened. I got fired. Or as Nicks informed me it really wasn�t �fired��the correct terminology is �let go�. You see I got a severance package because my department was �restructuring� and there was no longer a position for me. Or at least that�s what my lecherous boss-man said looking so mournful and sorry that I thought he might actually cry. Please. Like this wasn�t his company. Like it wasn�t his name on all our letterhead and marketing materials. Like this wasn�t his decision. And then he said��At least now we can go to lunch together and no one will give us sideways glances�. Ha ha. But let�s face it, I�m in no position to turn down free meals at the Gramercy Tavern. I�m in no position to burn any bridges. Especially when he knows so many people. So I was very �nice� about the whole thing. First off�he�s right. I absolutely hated my job and it probably showed. I mean, at the moment that I was fired/let go � whatever- I was staring down the barrel of writing a press release on �Vinyl Alternative Wallcovering�. He saved me that terrible pain. And honestly, I was happy to walk out of that place. No, try thrilled to walk out of that place. But�it did pay the bills. So boss-man called me the next morning to see how I was and I blurted out �Great!� possibly too enthusiastically, but I�d gotten drunk on Margaritas the night before and I think that aside from being puffy and bloated, I was still a bit inebriated. So, that�s that. Onward! Onward! Funny thing is�the night before I was fired/let go I had a dream that just that happened. I remember it because I woke up in the middle of the night very upset. In my dream C. had been very angry. In reality, he arranged a picnic in the park for us and raised his glass to toast. �Here�s to you getting fired.� Bottoms up! As my old boss at the dot-comedy said to me��Who cares? You hated the job and your were going to leave soon anyway. It�s really like planning to break up with someone and then they beat you to it.� Bingo. What now? Well, first things first�I have to go breathe now. Yoga class.
2:32 p.m. - 2002-05-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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