kiwifruit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spring Fever When I hear that robin sing Well I know it�s coming on spring I�ve been shoveling the snow away Working for my pay All I gotta say is we�re starting a new life When I hear that robin�s song Well I now it won�t be long Find out where we belong And we�re starting a new life - Van Morrison
My mom sends me an email today punctuated with �Piss. Fuck. Shit. Piss. Fuck. Shit.� She spent the morning shoveling snow.
Wednesday. 9pm. C. is still at the office. He�s been going crazy putting together this big deal with a big, bad name in banking. Worked until 1am last night and midnight the night before. I only know that he still exists because he cuddles into me when he gets home and whispers that he loves me (though it all may be a dream I�ve conjured up).
In my little corner of the work world psychosis I�ve been churning out press releases as if my life depended on it (and let�s face it, my life may not, but my livelihood certainly does). Work has been super stressful. I actually had a moment yesterday where I got so stressed that my fingertips became numb and I was gasping for air. Best friend tells me this is a �panic attack� and that it�s no good for my heart�go figure.
Said best friend called from her big lawyer office to tell me she was in misery. Said she�d like to quit her spirit sucking job and open a restaurant. To hell with all this! What was the difference? Dining on twenty-dollar pasta dishes aint that different than living on Top Ramen. Plus, we all know it�s true. The more you�ve got, the more you want and it isn�t ever enough. Then she tells me that she and her boyfriend are probably going to get engaged soon, only they can�t decide how to go about it�do they have to go have some cheesy romantic weekend somewhere even though it�s not there style? �I don�t even believe in marriage!� she yells, �It�s all about property ownership and domination!� I remind her that I�ve seen her slobbering all over the window at Cartier and Tiffany more than once�
Best friend�s wonderful, gentle oh-so-amazing sister calls me on Monday in tears. She has finally ended it with her no-good boyfriend whom we lovingly refer to as the �Taco eater� � and no, this is not some racial slur he just happens to be a fat bastard with a particular fondness for tacos. When I ask what happened she tells me that he can�t commit. The minute she tries to have any kind of real conversation with him about their relationship he goes crazy and starts yelling. The he tells her that they will never work out because �They can�t eat ice cream together� (she�s a vegan and he - being the Taco Eater that he is - is not). After a year of this bullshit she has finally realized that he may be right. But I know she�s scared. Having just hit the big three-oh-my-fecking-christ she is starting to wonder if she will ever find anyone to spend her life with (or at least a good portion of it). Another friend just returned from ten idyllic days in Mexico (unemployed artists can do such a thing). I can barely stand to meet up with her in my stress-ravaged state (hivey skin, post-stayed up until 1am to watch the stupid Academy Awards pallor, dirty didn�t have time to wash it hair in top knot on head, saggy ass jeans and Converse wearing mess). But I do because I missed her while she was gone and I have to hear the scoop� she was practically radiating just had vacation sex with exotic foreigner vibe through the phone lines. We meet at a the blessedly dimly lit Flute and she tells me she has fallen in love with someone in Mexico, that he is the most amazing, kind, loving man she has ever met. That they made love on the beach every night to the sound of the waves crashing, then they spent their days eating guacamole and drinking Coronas. Then she gets off the plane in New York and realizes that she is a) in the middle of a huge custody battle over their apartment with ex-boyfriend who is torturous and just an overall disgusting human being, b) unemployed, and c) considering �a� and �b� she may very well be homeless soon to boot.
Ah! New York! Ah! Life! When, oh when is spring going to really get here? We all may go insane before its arrival. 9:12 p.m. - 2002-03-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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