kiwifruit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No Man's Woman Enough, enough, enough already! Time to pull yourself up by your bootstraps (or whatever) and move on. And while I am still feeling all wonky inside, and the fates have decided that having P. on the opposite side the office wasn�t enough, so he is now seated directly across from me (five feet or so). Still, I can take it. After several dissatisfactory conversations with said ex yesterday, I wash my hands of the entire matter. I still DO NOT understand where it is that love goes � do we all have leaky heart valves? Did the love slop out onto my shoes one day and I didn�t notice? Whatever � I am still standing, relatively erect. I am still breathing (although sometimes I have to remind myself to do it). And this ache in my innards is still there, but it will dissipate (of this much I am sure). Not soon enough, but it will. I have my second and final interview with Vivlives today. I was pasting up my mood board for the site last night while P. and I had one of our aforementioned dissatisfactory conversations. He says he loves me � hmmm, odd kind of love. So I�m madly pasting away and I am lucky I didn�t glue my fingers to the board in the process. But I digress � My Mother is coming to the city for a visit this weekend. Nothing like a hug from Mom. A dose of her common sense will do me good. I could also use a good smack upside the head, but I don�t think I can count on her for that. Basically, D. gave that, (a verbal smack upside the head) to me last night. I suppose this is what good friends are for. We�ve heard it all before, but it never hurts to hear again, that our lives ARE complete and good without a man in them. I think of all I have, and I realize I should be grateful. My wounded little heart aside, my life is damn good. I have been listening to Sinead O�Connor�s "Faith and Courage", walking around singing the song "No Man�s Woman" to myself. It helps, really does, especially if you sing along at the top of your lungs (but I save that for in the privacy of my home). Until next time � 14:05:28 - 2000-11-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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