kiwifruit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Birds and the Bees 6 PM. I am in a work induced haze. I am thinking of setting up a cot in the back of the office so I can live here. I have gotten a promotion and now comes the joy of proving I deserve said promotion. I want to kill myself. Had to cancel on the DK crowd tonight. We were going to meet for drinks at Live Bait but I have too much work to do. I think I thrive on this stress though. I think I enjoy it. At least I hope so. Had a moment today when I was convinced the salad I ate for lunch (with chicken on it) had poisoned me. Convinced myself that I was going to puke or pass out, or both. Convinced myself I had lock-jaw. Had some hot chocolate and felt better. I think I may be PMSing. What a concept - no period for two months now. At this point pregnancy is not an option - it would be immaculate conception. Let's have fun and list the stressors in my life ... 1. Office fling: Nightmare. He walks by and punches me in the arm (like a 5th grader) and I swoon. I get cranky, he looks at me with concern. He asks if I am okay - I feel like my whole body is melting and turning in to fondue. I think I might puke, I think I might cry. We exchange emails. But does he ask me out? No. Is this ridiculous? Yes. I say to Deanna, I wish I could just forget about this, but I like him too much. I try and convince myself he has bad teeth and isn't worth thinking about - it doesn't work. I ask him what he is doing tonight via email and I get no response. Nothing. This is killing me. 2. Moving on Saturday (a happy occasion right?) Finally out of the ghetto. No more crack selling ice cream trucks. But ... moving on the 4th of July. Can't find a single soul to help me. Trying to figure out the logistics of this moving production. Still can't really believe it is happening. I have spent so much time complaining and worrying and now I am dumbfounded that I got what I wanted. Who would have thunk it? 3. Investment Banker is leaving for LA for the weekend. He was in Chicago last weekend. Saw him Saturday night when he got back. He came to the rooftop party. By the time he got there I was in a delirious state of exhaustion which manifested itself in drunkenness. Explain: Went out Thursday night to drinks with co-workers and then to the opening of a new club, in at 1AM, to work at 8AM. Friday - out with the girls. To a friends for drinks then to the same club again, then to random other places (in at 4AM). Saturday - up at 9:30AM run around like crazy to make the train to Long Island. Go to Long Beach, frolic in the waves, bask in the sun, get harassed by a bum with shit stains on his bathing trunks. Saturday night - drinks (only two very SMALL drinks) then to the rooftop party. Get a drink. Then, suddenly feel as if I am going to throw up, fall asleep (okay pass out). Feel like I have had a fifth of vodka to drink, want to die. Adam is there. I am nice, say hi, move on. Spill almost all of my drink on the ground - it splashes on J.B.'s girlfriend who hates me anyway. Now she hates me even more. Time to go home. Michael (the Investment Banker now has a name) loads me in to a cab. I sleep. We get home. I land face-down on the bed. He pulls my clothes off as I complain loudly. He tries to get me to eat - NO. To drink some water - LEAVE ME ALONE. He let's me pass out. Hmmm - think the sun and exhaustion got to me. Next day I sleep in until noon stuck in a comatose state that I can't crawl out of. We wake up. Michael goes to the office, I go to Deanna's. We watch bad TV and eat bagels. We go walking around window shopping. We sit in the park and watch two pigeons do a mating dance. The male won't give up, the female keeps running away - we laugh. We go home and watch Ten Things I Hate About You , we cry and wish we could find a guy as wonderful as the lead. At 10PM Michael picks me up and we go have a late-night rooftop dinner at his place. I sleep. I get up, I come to work - I work until 8PM, I go home, I sleep. ... okay, it is 6:30 and I have to get some work done so I can go home at some point. I have had a nice, quiet couple of days and I plan on a quiet weekend (aside from moving). I would be deliriously happy if I could stop to enjoy it for a moment. 19:39:08 - 2000-06-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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