kiwifruit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My boobs follow me wherever I go Thursday, but really Friday (there is a God). And she has a twisted sense of humor. Crazy busy at work today. The stress is rocking through my body at an alarming rate. I feel like I just drank fifty cups of coffee - can't breathe, can't eat ... Oh right, I LIKE feeling this way. Heh. Forgot. At three o' clock I will be able to breathe a sigh of relief .... Only three more hours. Why, you ask am I taking the time to write this? I am in that no mans land of hurry up, hurry up and wait. I am now waiting ... listening to "Super Freak" on SonicNet and bouncing around in my chair. This week ... Saw Woody Allen's Small Time Crooks. Loved it. Favorite cameos ... I. Mizrahi as a chef, and my friend S. waiting in line to get a cookie. On the way to the movie I ran in to Steven, whom I haven't seen in many months. He looked great, as always. But then again, it is his JOB to look great. Enjoyed being groped by him on the street (hell, I'm easy). He called the next day to offer me a ride to Vermont any time I wanted to go, and if I needed a place to stay ... Oh great, more meaningless couch action with Steven. Something to look forward to. He told me I looked great, that NY hadn't sucked the life out of me (yet). Gee thanks. Adam and I are having a bit of a problem, in that he wants exclusivity and I cannot give it to him. Not sure why. Just can't. Want to be able to do my own thing. Don't want someone needing to know where I am all the time. Want to be able to enjoy my life and live it for me instead of someone else. I am sure it is possible to do this and still be in a relationship, but I have never had the pleasure of experiencing this. Seems everyone stops being "me" and becomes "we", especially women. I feel guilty about maybe hurting Adam, but I have to be true to what I want to. Of course, if I ever figure out what it is that I do want it will be a miracle. Besides, when I start to feel squeamish in a relationship I turn in to a complete bitch and Adam has got to prefer honesty over me having my morning psychotic episodes (had another one on Wednesday AM). Hip Hop Hippity Hop .... (listening to rappers delight - The Sugarhill Gang now). Bored of talking about Adam. Tonight we are having an official girls night out. This is really just an excuse to act like idiots, ogle men, drink to excess, dress like hoochie coochie girls and dance on table tops. Very much looking forward to it, although I am dreading tomorrow morning when I will want to kill myself. Going to the gym after work to box (I may die right there), then to Xunta for tappas, then out on the town. I do not plan on heading home anytime before 3AM. Barring unseen circumstances (like not being able to stand any longer). Saturday night I have a date with the investment banker. Going to a cool place, Head First Restaraunt . Am I an awful person? I don't think so. Men pull this shit all the time and no one bats an eye. I see it as my personal mission to give them all a taste of their own medicine. On a mission from God to right all wrongs created in dating history. I am not sure this is the job for only one woman, I may have to recruit help. Birdie went under the knife on Tuesday. I remember wanting to have no tits at all. I once told a personal trainer that I wanted him to teach me how to work my chest so my tits would be gone. (Imagine the look I got from him). I think this no tits thing came from me wanting to look like a twelve year old girl. Now I am happy with my Cs, happy to not have to wear a bra all summer long. Sean, if you read this, email me and let me know how the boobs came out. Give Candi my love. Hopefully she has some good drugs and is happily sleeping away any unpleasantness. Hopefully her nipples are licking the sky. Hopefully she will stop hearing her mom's voice in her ear whispering - "perky, perky, perky". 15:47:28 - 2000-05-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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