kiwifruit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For Instant Turn On... �Place hands on bar for instant turn on� Call me infantile, but this statement written on the dryers at the nail salon, never ceases to make my giggle like an 8th grader who just passed a note to her amour of the moment, �Will you go out with me?� Going out consisting of five minutes on the playground googley eyeing eachother and ten minutes sloppy tongue kissing in someone�s parent�s basement. So, tee-hee-hee. But when I place my hands under the nail dryer I don�t get the promised instant turn on. What the hell is wrong with me?! So, here it is, Thursday evening, I�m in the office at it�s best time of day when the sun shines in the huge windows and it looks like springtime outside even when it�s not. But soon, very soon, it really will be spring. And then it will be summer and life will smell like a beach, flip-flops will be worn every day, my skin will be nut brown. I won�t have to wrap myself in a bulky coat that makes me feel like a sausage my gym bag and purse hanging awkwardly off my arm banging into every other passenger on the subway as I crankily maneuver my way into a seat. Life will be free n� easy. Or at least my clothing will be. Life is never free and easy is it? That�s the thing, I was used to living in such discomfort�no apartment, no job, no boyfriend�now I have all three but after the initial novelty wore off I find myself still wanting so much more. Is there a way to ever be satisfied? I went from living out of plastic garbage bags to a beautiful apartment with a view in NoLita, and still I find myself wanting�I imagine that I will always be wanting. If you don�t continue to want then life would get boring right? If you didn�t have something to work towards then what would you do? Well, I guess I personally would head somewhere tropical for a spa vacation�but what would I do after that? Well, then there�s always a tour of Europe�but then what after that? Eventually I�d run out of things to do or buy right? Riiight. Any-hoo� I should know by now. No. I do know by now, that one is never satisfied with what they have. There is always something more to desire. More money. More friends. More hair (or less I suppose). Speaking of hair, I am trapped into heading uptown to �our� wine bar for the first time in ages tonight. It�s not such a terrible prospect except that I was expecting to dine downtown and to have time to go home and pretty myself up a bit. Now I find myself heading to the Upper East Side in jeans and a hot pink and lime green t-shirt with no makeup and my hair in a knot on top of my head. Luckily my boss gave me an amazingly beautiful pair of Galliano snakeskin sandals that are absolutely ridiculous but so fecking gorgeous that you can�t help but feel special in them. As soon as I leave the office I am heading to Sephora to �sample� their goods (i.e. do my makeup in the store whilst pretending to browse). This isn�t exactly the way I want my ol� wine bar pals to see me, fifteen pounds heavier than I was at my skinniest, wearing an outfit that I would have worn when I was seven years old, but what can you do? After a few glasses of wine I suppose I won�t care anymore�and I have the shoes. We all know it�s the shoes that make the outfit right? Okay, more to say after such a long absence but I have to hustle. Eschewing the gym for a Caesar salad and a bottle of Pinot. Just what a girl should do the week before she leaves for Florida. Sigh. La di da. La di da. 5:55 p.m. - 2003-04-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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