kiwifruit's Diaryland Diary

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Heat wave

Summer has hit NYC like a slap in the face ..... what happened to Spring? I love the heat, but this is a bit ridiculous. 90 degrees today! Unless you are walking around naked you are sweating like a pig. I think I sweat more than I used to. Is this from eating? When one doesn't eat does every system shut down including the sweat glands? I need those little under arm protector shields (like panti liners for your pits) that we used to wear while modeling. I am obsessed with this sweat thing. I know it is unhealthy but I am desperatley seeking an antipersperant that completley blocks my sweat glands. What is with the yellow stains in the pits of all my white shirts? Have I suddenly become just a SWEATY person? It is driving me nuts.

Okay, enough with the obsessing. My weekend was glorious, although all this heat has obviously baked my brain. I spent yesterday in a moony, contemplative state in which everything made me want to cry. Cry not out of sadness but because of the simple beauty of the everything. Brushing my teeth almost brought me to tears, every mundane detail in life was magnified. And NO I am not PMSing, because I just had my period. I don't know what is up with me.

Friday I had the day off. Wandered around in heat induced delerium. Went window shopping, went to 535 for my favorite salad - by myself! Went to H&M and ran out in horror. I don't care if those clothes ARE cheap, I can't bear the crowd. Unless there are some fabulous designer frocks floating about I am not risking being elbowed in the ribs or waiting in long lines. No. NO. NO. Not for a seven dollar tank top. Just no. Went to see Virgin Suicides with Loose and Nichole. Definetley NOT the most uplifting film of the year but very well done. I was driven to have a drink afterwards and then we walked down to the train it was so goregous out. All I wanted to do was frolick all night long but I knew I had to run the race the next day so I went home and watched bad TV. Was enjoyable none the less.

Saturday morning. Almost died of shock when the alarm went off. Absolutley inhuman to ask my body to get out of bed so early on a weekend morning. But I did it. Made coffee and joined the throng of people in Times Square. I am exceedingly proud of myself. I made good time and felt like a Goddess. When I started to want to pass out from the heat and crowds I just thought of Grandma and kept going. Eased through the finish line and had the rest of the day to relax. Felt v. good. Met with Lizzie and Copywriter. Went to brunch. Bloody Mary's - ah yes! Felt very hypocritical having a cigarette, but oh well. Went with Copywriter to look at apartment's in Williamsburg. He almost took this awful hole in the wall because it was cheap and in a good location. DO NOT EVER take an apartment which has no windows and duct tape on the ceiling presumably holding something together. Bad idea. Went to dinner and then went home with a bottle of good wine. Watched Neil Young on SNL, great stuff, mushy love songs off the new CD. I made some snarky comment about love......Bad idea. Oh well. Oh yeah, my newfound virginnity is out the door. Of course once Loose said it took six months I knew I didn't have a chance in hell.

Sunday, Jon called while I was doing laundry. Sounding very gloomy. Wondered what he would have to do to get me back. I told him to worry more about himself and less about us. That is what he would have to do. He makes me sad. The truth is there is no going back now anyway.....not that I would want to. Still, remember Sunday I was feeling very sentimental so I had a good cry anyway. Went to the park and basked in the sun, ate at my favorite bagel place. Attempted to clean a path in my bedroom from door to bed - making baby steps here. Watched Sex and the City. Was counting on the girls to be nice and synical and make me feel less mushy - but no. Two somewhat romantic episodes in a row. Reduced to tears once again. Shit. Sleep alluded me. Cleaned some more. Decided I had no idea why I wanted to be a relationship anyway, such a pain in the ass. Copywriter called with absolutley nothing to say. We both hung up the phone feeling stupid (of course I am only assuming on his part).

Big schmooz fest at the agency this Thursday. Killing myself at the gym this week to wear cute strappy dress number. Copywriter is my date.

Chree graduates from law school this weekend. Looking forward to getting out of the city for a few days (and yes, seeing my favorite Snagglepuss again).

Ta.

13:30:19 - 2000-05-08

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