kiwifruit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hell on earth is at ________. Monday. Today my life feels like a cooler version of hell. Nothing, nothing can make me happy. I am working my tail off - to no great avail. And I wonder if a job that makes me this miserable is worth it, then I wonder if I am just a big baby, then I wonder if this constant stomach ache will EVER go away. Although, the intestinal turmoil is probably stemming from my weekend long smorgasbord (free food!). Feel ill, mad at myself. Looked in the mirror for a fleeting moment and wanted to cry. Then again, my get up at 5am and go to the gym idea didn't really pan out this morning. Lucille called to make sure I was up and lacing my running shoes on, I think I uttered a grunt and hung up. It is inhuman to expect a human to rise before the sun. 5:30 is a time for coming in from a late night, not getting up! Must try and re-adjust my values here before my ass is truly a scary sight. I am not kidding here, it is a sad and sorry sight. But...do I go to the gym tonight? No. I am too bound up and depressed and I am going to Live Bait with Lucille instead. Probably not the wisest of choices. I am telling myself that I will work out when I get home. Heh. It COULD happen. Then there is the stupid run I am doing this weekend. I had this vision of myself pumping up for the big event.....needless to say, this did not occur. Going to buy cigarettes on my way to Live Bait. My boss just started talking about his weekend debauchery and I can't bear to listen. What about MY weekend debauchery? Well, the copywriter and I had a nice time, getting to know eachother. We spent the entire weekend together. Which I will admit is overkill. Not because I didn't have fun, but because now I have to actually wonder - will he call? and when? And all that other bullshit that I really would rather not think about (I have far more important things, for example my expanding girth). Gotta run, a bloody mary is calling my name..... 16:24:49 - 2000-05-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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