kiwifruit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- another weak moment for womankind Okay, okay so the answer (are we all waiting with baited breath?) is B. (kind of). Only I don't really want to throw myself off any bridges, especially considering the fact that it is freezing and snowing/raining in NY today. Yuck, what the hell happened to Spring? More importantly whatever happened to my strong woman stuff? Whatever, I can't be bothered. Here is what happened�.I feel the need to explain myself. I get to Phebe's to find Jon chatting with some prepubescent barmaid. Ugh. I am wearing a sweater the color of a rotting pumpkin and my hair is doing this weird half curly, half straight thing. Hug. Very weird. Two weeks ago we were trouncing about naked, now a hug? What can I say? Pierced barmaid makes her exit, probably wonders why Jon has such hideous taste in women�.I order a beer and start to chain smoke. Jon tells me I look beautiful (now we know this is a lie). Blah, blah, blah�.So he tells me he misses me terribly�.blah, blah, blah. He admits he was selfish in our relationship. Big shocker here! Then he asks me the question that pretty much ruins me�."If I were to beg for you back, what would my chances be?" So I told him that I didn't see him begging yet, so the verdict was still out. It didn't take much begging. Just a promise to make an effort to be the kind of boyfriend I wanted and deserved. Whatever, it remains to be seen. But despite his bad haircut and ugly boot/shoe things�..I still think he is wonderful. So we went home and �..ate greek salads��.nuff said. We did laundry and he cleared out a drawer for my stuff (this caused some panic on my part but I handled it well). At least I will have clean underwear there when I spend the night. Still, I left all my clothes that I brought to NH there, and I am bothered by the fact that I might NEED something that is in his stupid drawer and not have it at hand. Then what? And what if we break up again? Then I have to do that gathering of stuff thing I am so NOT fond of. But I am supposed to be thinking positive right? It was nice to sleep curled up in a ball next to him, hogging the blankets. 12:47:40 - 2000-04-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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