kiwifruit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And this sappy heartsickness will end WHEN?!!? Trying to talk myself in to going to the gym tonight. Feeling so sad I can't imagine it. Maybe a Liev Schreiber sighting will cheer me up. In the past few weeks I have seen Lauren Hutton, Christopher's girlfriend on the Soprano's, and some guy from the HBO show OZ - no Liev. Can't even cheer myself up by ogling the young man painting the new gallery next door to our office. Oh wait - he is MORE than a painter, he is doing the floors in there too. Very cute, topless specimen - tan, skinny, paint splattered torso - baggy clothes. Eats his egg and cheese bagel in the morning as if he's making love to it with gusto. Sigh. He's probably all of 21. How depressing when they start getting too young for you. Sitting here feeling floored by the humanity of it all. And Industrial boy still makes me want to cry. And the feet never called. (Although I saw a write up on his soon to be ex-wife in Glamour as an "up and coming woman" for her writing ability. This gave me great pleasure because maybe she is a better writer than he is - which would explain the impending divorce - heh.) And Michael is still wonderful - but not the right guy for me. At home last night I thought about what it would be like to call a dating moratorium. It has it's pros and cons. Mostly I would miss Michael's comfy bed, fancy dinners out and free drinks. I would be poorer, and thinner. And lonelier. But I could do it. I could. I am a serial dater. I need therapy. Oh yuck, I can't bear to hear myself whine anymore. I am going to the gym, then home to watch Sex and the City (missed it Sunday). I will eat a MetRX bar and have a glass of wine, then I will go to bed. I have basically stopped waiting for the phone to ring. I have lost all hope. According to the new film TAO OF STEVE (Sonyclassics.com opens August 4th), the key to getting the opposite sex to want you is to not want them. Okay. I will now delve in to deep seated denial ... I don't want to meet my Knight in Shining Armor, I don't want to meet Mr. Right ... Actually, I don't want someone to rescue me - I just want someone to hold my hand while I try and do it myself. 19:01:05 - 2000-08-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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